“Don’t thank me, thank the Dharma and yourself.”
One of the deepest, purest and most sincere spiritual teachings I’ve received. These were the wise words spoken to me by my Vipassana teacher after I unconsciously projected my “You’re so knowledgable, I’m not good enough” shadow aspect at her after my first retreat.
All too often in spiritual circles, the teachers, guru’s, shamans and mystics (or any other grandiose self-imposed title spiritual types like to adorn themselves with) gobble up these light shadow projections from their desperate “followers’ like a hawk to its prey. Not this lady she was wise, humble and honest and I acquired more knowledge in those few words than I ever have from any know it all, holier than thou, do as I say not as I do, narcissistic energy harvesting gobbler I’ve met, and I’ve met my fair share!
At the time, I was an eager seeker, thirsty for knowledge and crippled with my own internal pain that I preyed someone, something, or somebody would take it all away. I was buried under the weight of the world, and the more I was seeking answers outside, the sicker I became. Who was going to save humanity, the earth and ultimately me?
Was it the aliens and their intelligent smart technology and higher density knowledge? Could it be the hugging saint and her sweet smile, maybe she was the one ready to take all this suffering away? After all, she is the Divine Mother, that’s her job, right? Or was it being reunited with my Twin Flame? I mean I’d spent a decade manifesting Prince Charming on a unicorn already, surly he was ready to leave the vortex and sweep me off to La La Land.
Or perhaps it was a more obscure universal opening? Maybe its the Lionsgate? I’ll just wait for the 8th of the 8th and all will be healed and revealed. Ok, so that’s not my gate not to worry we still have the Dragon’s Gate, The Event, The Ascension Portal, Solar Flares, Galactic Openings one of them got to work right? All wrong I’d be searching and seeking in all the wrong places. The keys to my liberation where right under my nose, literally.
Are we Ascending or are we Deepening?
After submerging myself in every new cage teaching and bliss bypass I could get my ungrounded hand on I realised I had nowhere left to go, I’d exhausted my every escape routes. The only escape route I had left was within me; I had to forge my own way out of the Belly of the Whale.
I eventually realised my ascension wasn’t shooting off to space, but a deepening of my heart and healing of my parts. It wasn’t a collective gathering of light beings outside of me; it was an integration of the light being within me. It was diving into my sadness, feeling my pain and moving through guilt and shame that have guided me to my gifts, have cleared my intuition and have aligned my purpose. I lit my path from within, and we all have the power to do this.
When I went through my ascension phase, I’d “ascended” so far that I plummeted straight back down to earth. Where I belonged in a human form, with a human heart and a healthy ego. There were some bumps along the way as I descended back down I entered a two year Dark Night of the Soul, which in hindsight was the single best thing to happen to me. Instead of bypassing and leaving my body. I had to go into my body. I had to listen to my emotions, and I had to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
I couldn’t just vibrate above what was going on within. I had to get deep and mucky with my feelings. I had to swim in some dirty waters within if I was ever going to win back myself. This wasn’t just a fight with myself, this was a battle for my shattered heart. It was a piecing back of all the lost parts of me, all the fragments left with lost lovers, pieces of failed dreams, a befriending of shame, guilt, sadness, & loneliness.
This was so deep, so dark, so hard that I found peace within it. I found a sense of truth and knowing that I hadn’t experience before. A wisdom that wasn’t read from books or quoted from another it was just there embodied within me.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m no guru, and I am very human. I still get sad, overwhelmed and frustrated, but I like these moments now. I know when I’m sad I write the best, I know when I’m overwhelmed I’m learning about my gifts and when I’m frustrated that I can use this to push myself a little further. I know that my anxiety in its fullest expression is my seeing abilities, and that jealousy can quickly be transformed into inspiration if I hack my human algorithm.
It can be a laborious process deepening into yourself. You have to be honest with yourself, true to your heart The empathy that I once gave to everyone around me I invert inwards before I project it outwardly. Empathy for others and not yourself is often a deep-rooted lack of boundaries and self-compassion, I’ve since inner-stood.
Multidimensional and Moving Beyond your Parts, Pattern and Programs.
I’m going to leave this blog here with a couple of video’s that may help you see the depth of your being and the innate power you have within
If you are interested in exploring your Sovereign Self and igniting that light within, please contact me at info@trusovereignself.com.
With self-care and compassion, we can release the pattern.
Anastasia
5 thoughts on “Saviour Programming”
This is such a raw, beautiful message. I could actually feel the necessity of the
process through your experience. Thank you.
Wow what a great article. Made me laugh a few times. Oh my the circles we make before finding ourselves. Thanks.
Thank you for being so raw about your struggles. I’ve been going this alone since 2011. I’ve made some significant growth and work it to the best of my abilities each day . I some some amazing breakthroughs with the little I know. Would absolutely love some guidance from you. Lots of muck that lingers and clings.
So right on! I feel like I just read the story of my own journey! Deep Truth!
Thank you very sweetly, Anastasia.
Your article spoke to me in just the way that my spirit was ready to listen today.