What is a “Dark Knight”? If you been through the Dark Night, it may have been your outer shadow reflection that swept you off to your own internal hell. I call mine the Dark Knight if you are a guy she might be your Dark Queen, the one that seduces your soul to the place that you feel you can not escape.
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”
― At First Sight
It’s that lover that destroys you, the sweet drop of poison that every cell of your body is addicted to. The person you’d risk everything for just one hit, it’s the one your mother/ father warned you of. It’s the fantasy that takes you away from the present into a land of Chris Issak – Wicked Game on repeat and a bottle of whiskey. Have you been there? Has your heart ached so deeply for another you wonder how you’ll ever survive? Well, you will. I’m going to tell you how you’ll turn this poison into medicine, this darkness into art and your wounds into wisdom.
I’ll share a little about my story, and hopefully, if you are going through this deep heartache, you’ll see that you can and will come through it. What’s more, you’ll also come out a better version of youself. If you do the inner work, this person might lead you to your greatest gift, your true essence.
Vulnerability is wearing your wounds with grace, so I’ll share a few on my own. From the age of 24-34, I dated the same man in a different flesh suit (I was a slow learner). It was the same old story they would sweep me off my feet, charm me into submission, bombard me with love, gifts, fancy nights out, hotels the works. I had the whole princess treatment (& programming) to the max. As much as I had princess programming, I also have a very strong warrior part, I call her my inner Zena. I could almost see through my shadow lovers and as soon as my Zena kicked in, the princess programming dissolved and the Dark Prince moved onto another Dark Princess.
With reflection, I can see how my wounds attracted this. I didn’t have the self-worth to value myself beyond my external appearance and sought the valuation these men would often offer. Our wounds fed off one another as they do in lots of relationships. Look at many marriages they are often built on co-dependency where one can’t function without each other and love is based on the mortgages and car repayments. I live in Thailand now and when I see a sex tourist and a sex worker I see how their wounds feed off each other to. Loneliness and a lack of self-worth seem like a magnet to one another.
Ok, so from my experience of working with people and my own life there is always one karmic relationship that breaks you. I mean really break you, my came with long flowing hair, an open shirt and heart, beads and a guitar that would spellbind me. I was gone I thought I’d live the rest of my life living off love, at the time I thought I’d found my twin flame my spiritual Disney utopia of love. Which with hindsight and healing I can see was a mixture of my own programming and entity attachment feeding off my love/suffering for my Dark Knight.
I had replaced my princess programming with the new age programming. Now I’m not saying there are not genuine twin flames, part of me loves that idea. However there are twin flame teachers out there that a deceiving vulnerable people into delusion. I could write a lot on the subject but all I will say, for now, is please use your discernment, relationships often end how they start. Build your relationships on good solid respectful ground. My karmic Dark Knight was the death of a version of me, and after intense, sincere inner work I know why we met, and I’m sincerely grateful for his medicine. Why? he lead me to me. He gave me my greatest gifts and teachings, and for that, I am forever thankful. Now I didn’t get there overnight I spent close to a couple of years crying, hating, missing, praying, wishing longing, blame, and shaming (myself). I didn’t bypass a thing I went deep into my soul to process these wounds, and I do this work now with other people. Often our traumas are our teachings and healing, and this is mine.
Also please spend some time educating yourself on the astral interference in love relationship. I’m not an expert on this topic as my work so far has been focused on researching and innerstanding the inner world. However, with that said it is vital to have a solid awareness of what entities interfere and feed off our sexual/ love energy. In time I’ll research more of this for myself. In the meantime here are some researchers that I respect and that may help with your innerstanding, of why these situations have shown up in your reality.
Right now my focus is on helping you navigate your inner landscape. So how do you get through this heartbreak?
You go in. Go into the darkness, feel it and heal it. Go into the wound and hold it, speak to it, witness it, listen to its needs, let it shout and cry if it needs to and embrace it like you did your lover.
Turn your dark into art. The greatest love songs, stories, art, and poetry is created through heartbreak. One of the qualities of self-energy which heartbreak can lead you back to (if you do the work) is creativity so try to embrace your new gifts. Here’s one of the poems I wrote at the time.
3. Most people will advise you to get rid of all your belongings and never check their social media again. Now let’s get real how many of us actually do that? It’s like the diet we put ourselves on a Monday and break on a Wednesday, it doesn’t work. What I did with myself, and I do with my clients is to get curious as to why part of them wants to look. You know what happens when you don’t beat yourself up for doing something and you start to inner-stand why you do that, and you stop doing it naturally.
4. Ok once you start to move through the wounds and turn them into wisdom it’s time to cut the cords. Energetic cords are created from sexual intercourse, and you need to move them. I’ll write more on how to do this and its something we can discuss in sessions. Please be aware that if you haven’t worked through the pain chances are they will reattach or you’ll manifest the same lover, remember my slow learning? The wise learn through others mistake.
5. Become your own lover. Spend some time getting to know yourself. When you “know thy self’ it becomes easier to navigate the outer world and attract a partner based on wants not wounds.
6. Once you’ve spent some time with and you know what you want in a partner. Write it down and also write down what qualities you need to attract that type of person. Work on your qualities not trying to find the partner, or turning every potential partner into your list.
7. Get on purpose its much easy for you to fall in love when you are doing what you love.
If you feel you need support and guidance with healing your heart, please get in touch
info@truesovereignself.com
There is nothing I love more than seeing someone transform their pain into power, wounds into wisdom and suffering into sovereignty.
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In the meantime, love all the parts of you every last one of them, they are your internal allies.
Be More, Be Excellent, Be YOU!
Anastasia
